The Organ

No instrument creates in my mind such mixed emotions as the organ. Banjos, saxophones, bagpipes, and accordions, for sure, create strong emotions. In fact, I've often dreamed, perhaps mischievously - perhaps maliciously, of creating a piece of music specifically for those four instruments. When I say strong emotions, in this case I am referring to negatively strong. But organs excite mixed emotions, some good, some not. I appreciate both the lofty swell of the pipe organ and the gritty grind of the Hammond B3 overdriving a Leslie cabinet. Even the cheesy squank of the Farfisa organ has its place. But organs have so often been mixed up in disreputable business, I always approach them with caution. I have already written of an all-night encounter involving an organ, an attempt at goodwill, and a dismal disappointment.(1) That story involved the church, and come to think about it, the church is the source of all my sore spots on the subject. In fact, throughout the world the topic of the church organ is awash in controversy.

First, no church organist known has yet managed to play at the appropriate volume. Garrison Keillor speaks eloquently on this theme with these words: "Yea, in the singing of psalms, he maketh our heads to ring as if they were beaten with hammers. Behold, he sitteth up high in the loft, and mighty are the pipes and mighty is the noise thereof, and though there be few of us below, he nonetheless playeth with all the stops, the Assyrian trumpet stop and the stop of the ram's horn and the stop that soundeth like the sawing of stone, and we cannot hear the words that cometh out of our own mouths."(2) And Washington Irving tells us, "The ear is stunned - the senses are overwhelmed."(3)

I once knew, firsthand, a church organist who was fired for playing too loudly. In the months leading up to his ejection from the organ bench, he confided to me that the priest and several members of the congregation complained about the volume of his playing, but that he could easily hear the congregation singing from his seat at the organ. So we will conclude that it is not necessarily a diabolical plot on the part of all organists to deafen the parishioners. However, the controversy is clearly one that has survived from antiquity and undoubtedly will continue as long as the control of such machinery is left in the hands and feet of one person.

It has also been scientifically proven that any time a sound system contractor sets about his work in a lonely church sanctuary smack in the middle of the work week, an organist is bound to show up and start practicing at earsplitting levels. This former sound system contractor has experienced this phenomenon so many times, he has concluded that a sensitive listening test in an empty sanctuary is impossible. Even modest churches without an organ have been known to spontaneously secure one and a seasoned organist to boot at such times, rendering the activities of the sound system engineer useless. I refer the skeptic to half a dozen Churches of Christ around Oklahoma who mysteriously took up the use of music instruments in their services during the early years of the twenty-first century.

The second issue of the organ as controversy within the walls of the church is the fact that many church walls have been actually designed and constructed with the organ in mind. Now, forethought of design is admirable, and I have a soft spot in my heart for items being built-in as opposed to simply being shoved in place. Frank Lloyd Wright shared this fondness. The problem comes when the organ, which is one instrument, and if I may be so bold as to say an optional one at that, is given priority above all other audio considerations. I recall a time when a Tulsa church was remodeling their sanctuary. The entire front wall was reconstructed and was fitted with, I believe, four separate rooms for housing organ components. This was not a pipe organ, mind you, but simply an electronic one which the manufacturer apparently felt was an essential ingredient in the salvation of souls. One would not expect a Southern Baptist church to fall for this line of reasoning, but it seems this one did, because they spent more money and real estate on the organ (which was in the form of a refurbishment) than they did on the entire sound system (which was in the form of new) by a factor of almost two to one. This is actually not particularly noteworthy, as the ratio of these expenses in many churches is probably more like 100 to one or even greater. But the injustice lies in the fact that the organ contributes probably ten percent of the amplified sound in the typical Southern Baptist church, and the leadership in these churches would likely tell you that the human voice is the priority. When you consider that a $1,000 keyboard routed through the sound system could provide a reasonable alternative, the idea of spending $40,000 seems questionable. To cement the deal, consider that routing the organ through the sound system and giving the ultimate volume control to a pair of unbiased ears would take care of problem number one.

On the other hand, I appreciate the beauty and craftsmanship of a fine pipe organ. It would be a shame to lose the lot of them to a bunch of plastic synthesizers. There should certainly be places around the globe for these expensive monstrosities to reside and be cared for and played and enjoyed, and the church is arguably the best place or at least one of the best. But it often seems like the church encompassing a famous organ is more associated with the instrument than the Son of God, which is surely erroneous.

A final anecdote concerns the discovery of a great, epic splice of organ wires taking refuge beneath a baptismal font in a Methodist church. The story is that the organ had been moved form its original location in front of one of the sets of pews down on the floor to a more visible position behind the altar and between the two halves of the choir. As the pipes and general workings were situated at the back of the room, the move required a splice of the wiring to accommodate the extra distance. The lay person will not be able to accurately picture such a splice unless directed to picture instead a saxophone or accordion sitting on the floor with about 300 wires stemming forth and leading into a sizable hole in the floor. The lay person would next be looking around for a sizable object to use as cover. It gives credence to the idea of sprinkling, but we won't go there.

NOTES:
(1) Night of the Living Organ Donors, Dane Tate
(2) Acts 29, Garrison Keillor
(3) Westminster Abbey, Washington Irving